the moral of the story

things learned from SXSW:

Is it a complete waste of time, money and energy? The only way to find out is to go, then sit back and wait and see if anything that subsequently transpires is traceable back to one of your 18 free-malt-liquor/free-bloody-mary-fueled appearances. There were 1,981 registered bands this year, which means there's a 1-in-1,981 chance that somebody important was watching you play.

Whichever show you're least into and still half-asleep during is the one everybody's gonna go to.

The Hot Dog King's a real dick, and doesn't care if everybody can hear him screaming.

It takes your body 45 minutes to digest food after eating, and it takes your body 45 minutes to generate a hangover after consuming Colt 45.

Thee Oh Sees are most likely the best live band in whatever town they're playing. Also, The Black Angels' new songs are really good.

The Taco Bell/KFC in Fort Stockton, Texas, remains both the worst Taco Bell and the worst KFC in America, by a mile. After going there 3 times, to Sonic twice, and K-Bob's Steakhouse (home of the Salad Wagon) once, all that's left in Fort Stockton is Dairy Queen, Pizza Hut, and Wal-Mart. And it's the only town within like 6 hours of itself. Next time, we're just not eating.

If you choose to drive, your van will break down within the first 100 miles:

Singles Only

File under Hotelevision:
Singles Only, a production of Pima Community College, ca. 1984. 109 episodes of public access soap opera. If you're sleeping in Tucson, seek and its hideously beautiful cast will find you. Darker My Dudes is seeking the rights holder re: licensing and possible simultaneous series/VHS and too-good-to-be-true theme song/7" re-release.


Local investigative reporter/tabloid smear-queen Emerald Green (née Emmett Green), confronting Singles Only residents with closeted skeletons


not Jeffrey Dahmer


Starr. Not only does he look like an alien, turns out he is one too.


trying to lose her New York accent


"I like kids."

sunday sunday sunday

We're playing a show/publicly rehearsing before we go on spring break. It's this Sunday at Long Beach's only gold rush-themed steakhouse, The Prospector. Come get steak'd out and watch us play our new record!



Doors at 9
21+ / $5
with DJ Bill Gazer

SXSW200010

First things first, no, you cannot get a ride. Same thing goes for Burning Man.
Second things second, it's our semiannual spring break, which means you can watch us funnel Natty Ice at the following:

Friday, March 19
Little Radio party
Red Eyed Fly / 715 Red River
we play at 2:20. with Serena Maneesh, Warpaint, Spindrift, Dead Confederate, and more
18+, free bloodys + beer

I Hate Rock N Roll/Volar Records/Videothing party
Trailer Space Records / 1401 Rosewood Avenue
we play at 5:45. with The Soft Pack, Thee Oh Sees, Audacity, Grass Widow, and more
free beer + Vitamin Water + badassery

Saturday, March 20
Vestal Watch party
The Longbranch Inn / 1133 East 11th St.
we play at 2. with The Icarus Line, Dios, Mini Mansions, and more
21+, RSVP required (click on the link above)

Relix Magazine official showcase
Galaxy Room Backyard / 508 E 6th St.
we play at midnight, before The Black Angels and after Dios, thereby setting a new record for Most Shows Played With Dios In One Day.
21+ SXSW badge required

for real.

only in L.A.